


Sacrifices Made

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-16 22:02:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5842609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one outside of the high command ever really learned the extent that Poe was willing to go to further the Resistance, the personal sacrifices he would make to ensure its survival. </p><p>At least not until this moment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Alright this little bug has been sitting in my mind for a while so I guess it's time to see where it goes.

The New Republic has never really had an opportunity to know true peace, the rapid rise of the First Order and the forming of the Resistance immediately following the establishment of the Order had ensured this. 

No, peace, real peace, was some far off concept, an illusive dream that continued to slip through the New Republic's fingers. It was a false promise from the Skywalker's, a claim that they would bring balance to the Force and peace to the Galaxy. The New Republic, the senate in particular, had always known this was nothing more than a lie. 

So when it was the First Order and not the Resistance who approached him about a truce, Wedge Antilles was equal parts skeptical and intrigued. By all accounts the Order had the upperhand in the conflict, what is it they were seeking to gain from this, what could they possible want. 

He certainly hadn't expected it to be this. 

"Absolutely not," General Leia Organa responded, standing from where she was seated across from the representatives of the First Order, the moment Hux had hissed out his demands. Beside her the young Commander Poe Dameron, barely more than a boy at 27, sat wide eyed, only Lando's hand on his shoulder keeping him grounded and stable when all he wanted to do was lean over the the side of his chair and retch on the ornately tiled floor. 

"You must understand General, in the eyes of the New Republic and the First Order, you are nothing more than a terrorist cell, unbound by the same political obligations we have," Hux patronized, a smug grin twisting his features. "We need some sort of assurance that you will hold up your end of the bargain."

"And what about any assurance that you will do the same," Lando cut in, eyes hard as he stared at Hux. "You've claimed one of ours before, manipulated someone who was family to each and every one of us into murdering innocent children. What assurance do we have?"

"The First Order will uphold the truce," it was Wedge who spoke now, "as a political faction within the senate they are bound by the regulations of the New Republic. Should they break the truce they will answer to the Republic."

"The same way they answered for the massacre of Luke's Jedi students?" Poe had finally found his voice.

"An unfortunate occurrence that has never been directly tied to the Order, I assure you," Hux added, his impatience showing through as he brushed off Poe's comment. "General Organa, I will personally assure the safety of Commander Dameron throughout his time as the envoy to the First Order."

"Hostage would be more accurate," Leia returned. "There are so many others you could select, why Poe?"

"Commander Dameron is of value to the Resistance. Additionally he has political ties that might aid in calming current tensions."

"So it was Ben who chose the hostage, wasn't it?" Poe felt his breath catch in his throat as Lando spoke. 

Ben, the General's son. The pale skinned, sullen faced boy who had trailed behind Poe when they were teens. Who had taken Poe by surprise when he tugged the then seventeen year old in for a sloppy kiss. The same Ben who had almost crushed Poe's windpipe in anger when Poe pulled away and admitted he didn't share Ben's feelings. The same Ben who had murdered his fellow students, who had almost murdered Master Skywalker. Poe couldn't even imagine the terror that might await him if it was Ben who was seeking to claim him as a hostage. 

"Kylo Ren made a specific request, yes," responded Hux. "But the Supreme Leader deemed it prudent as well."

"The answer is still no," General Organa cut in, conviction firmly in place despite the mention of her son, despite the fact that she had no knowledge of what had transgressed between Ben and Poe years ago. She would not give up the man who was like a son to her, even at the behest of her true son and with the knowledge that it could bring peace. 

Poe, however, brave, wonderful Poe, understood the cost of peace could be high, understood what his sacrifice could mean for the galaxy. 

"I'll do it," he stated, straightening his spine, infusing his voice with as much conviction as h could muster. "On the condition that you maintain the truce I will act as an envoy between the First Order and the Resistance."

"No," Leia commanded. "I explicitly forbid it Commander Dameron."

"With all do respect General," Poe shifted in his seat to face the General, "if this is what it takes to secure peace, even if it is only a short term solution, I'm willing to do what is necessary."

"Even if it is nothing more than a cheap tactic by the Order," it was Lando this time. 

"Then I leave the decisions in your hands General Calrissian," Poe answered, head turning to look at Lando, "General Organa's judgement is clouded when it comes to Ben and when it comes to me, so in this brief instance it is your orders and not her's I'll follow," even though the thought of disobeying his idol broke his heart and the knowledge of what he would face within the First Order caused dread to settle in his chest. 

"Commander Dameron, I am your commanding officer," Leia's voice was rising in pitch. "You will stand down as ordered and we will deal with this."

"Afraid I have to agree with the kid on this one," Lando cut in. "You're compromised when it comes to him and when it comes to Kylo Ren you can't be trusted to do what is right for the Resistance."

"I am fighting for a better galaxy for all, where every life matters. You are asking me to condemn one man to almost certain death...."

"We have no intention of killing Commander Dameron," Hux cut in. "Not only would that break the truce, but he is hardly any use to us dead."

"That's not exactly the sort of phrasing that is going to put anyone at ease General Hux," commented Wedge with a raised brow. 

Hux let out a little puff of air, clearly feeling appropriately chastised, "Commander Dameron will be treated with the utmost respect as is befitting an envoy of the Resistance. I, and my subordinates, will do everything within our power to ensure his safety and wellbeing, does that stand as assurance enough?"

"Not really," Lando commented, squeezing Poe's shoulder briefly before releasing him. Without that steady hand grounding him Poe suddenly felt completely bereft, doubt and fear clawing up from his chest once more as he considered what this sacrifice might cost him. 

Lando continued on, unaware of Poe's own inner turmoil, "if Dameron consents then yes, I will give him leave to accept this proposition."

"And do you consent?" Pressed Hux, eyes locked firmly on Poe. 

"I..." Poe paused, uncertainty causing the words to catch in his throat. Could he really do this. He would be disobeying a direct order from General Organa, and who knows what treatment he would receive at the hands of the Order. Still, it would be peace. Temporary, tenuous peace, but it would buy them time, time they very desperately needed to track down Luke Skywalker. He knew what the return of the Last Jedi would mean for the Resistance, for the galaxy.

"Yes, I consent."


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay. Real life sort of got in the way.

Well, the quarters were nicer than Poe had been expecting, nicer than his own cramped little room at the Resistance Base actually, although decidedly more impersonal and less homey. 

"I'm sure you'll find your quarters to your liking," commented General Hux from where he stood just inside of the entrance to Poe's new room, watching closely as the pilot studied the chrome and steel fixtures around the room. "We've housed you in a remote section of the officers wing to provide you with the utmost privacy and to allow for a larger residence."

Poe didn't respond at first, partially in an effort to infuriate Hux, but mostly because he was examining the room for any possible escape routes on the off chance things went south. An air shaft, probably barely big enough to fit him, appeared to be his only option, well, it would do in a pinch he guessed. 

Hux cleared his throat pointedly and Poe turned around to finally look back at the General, tossing his rucksack onto the bed before he deigned to respond. "Considering I had assumed I would be placed in a literal gilded cage the moment I set foot on this ship it's nice to see that you opted for a metaphorical one instead."

The irritated look on Hux's face was highly reminiscent of someone trying very, very hard not to roll their eyes, well, at least Poe had something to work for now. See how much sass the General could take before he broke down and responded to Poe's quips like any normal sentient being would as opposed to acting, and looking, like someone had shoved something rather unpleasant up his arse. 

"I assure you Commander Dameron, you are by no means a prisoner on this ship or any of the various bases or planets we may take up residence upon."

"So I'm free to come and go as I please, go wherever I choose," and that was the crux of it at the end of the day, he may not be treated like a normal prisoner, like a normal hostage, would be, but so long as he was confined to his quarters or to a limited section of the Finalizer as he suspected he would be then really he was no better than any other prisoner the First Order had picked up. 

Hux, of course, having to play the part of the diplomat, an ill fitting role for him to say the least, had to continue to give the illusion that Poe continued to maintain his on free will voice, "you are prohibited on the flight deck, Hanger or in the command center as is standard procedure. The holding cells are also off limits for obvious reasons, but you do have full access to the residential quarters and mess hall. We've even been so kind as to provide access to one of our flight simulators so you may continue to keep your skills as a pilot sharp despite not being able to spend any significant amount of time in an actual cockpit."

"How generous," Poe drawled, his voice practically dripping with sarcasm. "And the esteemed Kylo Ren who was so kind as to specifically request my presence, when will I have the pleasure of seeing him."

"Far sooner than you probably expected," answered a metallic, computer filtered voice from behind Hux. 

The General stepped to the side to reveal Kylo Ren in all his black clad glory. He was taller than Poe had remembered, probably a head taller than Poe was, and he wore an absolutely hideous mask that was vaguely reminiscent of Darth Vader.

"I'll leave you two to get reacquainted," Hux commented dryly as he stepped out of the room, moving to allow Kylo to step inside in his place, the door closing behind him with a soft whoosh, leaving Poe completely alone with the Force user. 

"Are you going to take the ridiculous mask off or not Ben?" Poe blurted out after several tense moments of silence. One of these days his mouth was going to get him killed. 

Kylo Ren stated back for several unnerving moments before he responded, "Ben Solo is dead."

It took everything Poe had in him to not laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of that statement. It really was true, all of the men in the Skywalker line were such drama queens. "Fine, are you going to take off that ridiculous mask Kylo, it's not very enjoyable talking to a creature in a mask, especially one who wants you and your people dead."

The mask was pulled off with a dull hiss to reveal a painfully familiar face. He'd grown into his nose and his dark hair was longer, it suited him better now as well, but it was still the Ben Poe remembered. "I can assure you Poe, I have no interest in seeing you dead," those eyes were still as unsettling as they were the last time Ben had looked at Poe this way, a lingering, possessive gaze. 

"I have a half crushed windpipe a few years back that says otherwise."

It says a great deal about how disturbing Poe found Ben's obsession with him to be when he felt relief wash through him when cold rage filtered into Ben's eyes, replacing that cringeworthy hunger that had previously been present.

"A temporary and childish loss of control," he spit out through gritted teeth. "I have a far better handle on my temper now. I can assure you, I would never intentionally cause you harm." The fact that he actually sounded sincere in his promise did absolutely nothing to calm Poe's fears. 

"Why am I here, why me?" This was dangerous territory but he needed to know what sort of risk he was actually exposing the Resistance to when he agreed to this, needed to verify if this was as big a mistake as he was beginning the think it was. 

Kylo Ren took several steps forward until he was only a hairsbreadth away from Poe, the shorter man refusing to step away, refusing to break eye contact. He wouldn't be intimidated, he knew what Kylo was trying to do and he wasn't going to be the one to blink in this game. 

"You're a high ranking officer in the Resistance. Commander Poe Dameron, confidant to General Organa, the best pilot in the Resistance. That alone is enough political leverage to keep the Resistance in line, but then there is also your impressive family name and impeccable pedigree. Your mother fought beside Luke Skywalker himself, both she and your father had decorated military careers and that means something to the New Republic."

"You don't need to spit the same platitudes and lies Hux spun, Hux and Snoke aren't here to reprimand you for offering me the truth and I have no way of getting word out to the Resistance."

"But that is the truth," Kylo Ren responded, voice pitching low. "Or at least it's the truth for Hux and Snoke. Your political ties make for a superb hostage to keep the Resistance in line until they've managed to follow through with whatever it is they have planned for your little friends."

So nothing new there. Poe and the rest of the Resistance had expected that, had counted on it actually but they had needed to stall for time to find Luke and this course of action had been their best possible option. But that still left one very important, very personal question for Poe, "and what about your reasons?"

Kylo Ren remained quiet, eyes contemplative and thoughtful as he reached up, hand gently stroking down the length of Poe's throat, ghosting over the past injury he had inflicted so many years ago. Poe remained steadfast, eyes locked on Kylo Ren despite how desperately he wanted to pull away in revulsion. 

"You and I Poe, people like us belong together. You were made for me, you always have been. All I'm doing, all I want to do is set the universe to rights, restore you to your proper place kneeling before me as I conquer the Galaxy, as I finish what my grandfather started."

So it was simply a personal vendetta, a twisted obsession that had taken seed in Ben Solo when they were children. "You can't claim me Ben, you can't own me no matter how much you want to."

"Hmmmmm," he hummed out as he stepped away, "we shall see about that." The helmet clicked back into place, "I will see you again shortly Poe."

The moment the door closed into place behind Kylo Ren, Poe was doubled over, retching up the contents of his stomach. 

He was certainly in well over his head this time around.


	3. Chapter 2

Poe had managed to skillfully avoid Kylo Ren for the next six odd weeks, well, three really since he had been off board for the last three weeks training. Hux also appeared to come and go throughout Poe's time on the Finalizer, and really without Hux around to pester Poe was growing dreadfully bored. The storm troopers who had been assigned to him were utterly uninteresting and since he did not have access to a majority of the destroyer he was forced to spend most of his time in the flight simulator, honing his skills and biding his time until an opportunity presented itself to do a little bit of of snooping. 

And present itself it did, when Hux left for a week. Ren was still away and because it appeared that neither man would be returning anytime soon Poe saw this as ample opportunity to use his not inconsiderable charms to gain a little bit of unauthorized access to the control rooms. 

It wasn't really all that difficult either. 

He pushed his plan into motion the first night of Hux's absence, slipping out of the doors to his room. 

"It's after hours, no unauthorized personnel outside of their rooms," the storm trooper that had been stationed outside of his door ordered. 

"I know," Poe responded, settling down on the floor, back against the close door, drawing his knees up to his chest. "But I couldn't sleep, restless energy and all. Mind taking pity on me and providing some human company."

The trooper looked down at Poe, or at least Poe thought he did, it's always a bit hard to tell with those helmets.

"Do what you will," he responded returning his gaze to the hall in front of him. 

"Wonderful," Poe responded, head lolling to the side to stare up at the trooper. "So you got a name or am I going to have to give you one FN-2166."

\--

Poe's plan to get into, FN-2166, or Sixes' as he had christened him, good graces worked fantastically, and far quicker than he had thought it would. Although, that was probably die to Poe's not inconsiderable charms and the fact that the storm trooper was sexually repressed, or at least it seemed that way due to his enthusiastic response to Poe's attempts to get into his pants. 

He wasn't too bad of a lay either, terribly inexperienced, but enthusiastic. 

Maybe a bit too enthusiastic actually, Poe thought wincing as his lower back twinged when he stood from the bed, moving slowly and silently to pull his clothing back on and slip out the door so as to not disturb the sleeping trooper.

He felt a bit bad actually, if he was caught, which he was hopeful wouldn't be the case, the trooper was going to get thoroughly reamed for his lapse in judgement, but there was nothing that could be done really, Poe needed to gain access to at least one of the control rooms if he had any hope of coming upon any information that could be of use to the Resistance. Whatever he found he could then pass on in an encrypted report to the General through one of the bi-weekly reports he provided to the Resistance. The General wouldn't recognize the code he used, and more importantly neither would the First Order, but Snap and Jessika would both be able to decode it in a day or so, Kare would have it within a few minutes. 

Around this time the shifts for troopers would be changing and if Poe was lucky he could slip into the southeast control room, which he noticed in his time here had almost never had anyone manning it, search through the Order's files thanks to the keycard he had lifted off of one of the officers earlier in the day and hopefully come away with some useful information before anyone was the wiser. 

There were a few close calls as he crept through the halls, but he managed to make it into the control room unnoticed. "Thank the Force," he breathed out when he slipped into the room and it was apparent no one was there. "Now if I can just get to something juicy," he muttered as he pulled up a chair and started sifting through schematics and files on the monitor. 

It had been nearly twenty minutes and he had come up with nothing, far longer than he had intended to stay and longer then he would probably be able to evade notice, but he couldn't walk away empty handed, he didn't know when his next opportunity might be. He was a moment away from giving up when he finally found it. 

"Holy...." Poe felt dread settle low in his stomach this is not what he had been expecting to find and it was far worse than he could have ever imagined. "This cannot be real," he murmured as he flipped through schematic after schematic. "They can't do this, they just......"

He felt his words catch in his throat, air abruptly cutting off, hands freezing above the center console. 

"I can't leave you alone for more than a few moments can I?" Drawled a smooth familiar voice. Poe felt the force around his throat constrict once more before suddenly released, leaving Poe gasping for breath as he and his chair was jerked around to face Kylo Ren who was standing in the doorway, dressed in full First Order regalia, mask firmly in place and distorting his every word. Poe was jerked out of the chair and across the room, Ren's hand coming up to wrap around Poe's throat and pull him in close. "You simply can't do what I need you too, can you," he patronized, grip loosening just enough to get a scant few words out. 

"You can't do this, I won't let you get away with it," Poe managed to croak out before Ren's grip tightened and Poe was choking on his words again.

"Sweetheart, there's nothing you can do, you have no way to get this information to your little band of Resistance fighters, even through that elaborate code you developed and yes darling I figured out how you were encrypting your reports the moment you sent out your first one," One of Ren's arms curled around Poe's waist, the other finally releasing his throat and shifting into his hair, twisting painfully. "But I chose to let it continue because up to this point you had yet to learn anything of importance, but now that you do have something you won't be given another opportunity to pass anything to the Resistance. Your reports will be benign, designed to look like you are continuing to encode them but containing nothing of any real value, and you, you will be confined to your quarters at all times unless accompanied by myself or General Hux."

"You can't just keep me locked up," Poe spit out through gritted teeth, "I'll find a way out, you know that."

"And it's adorable that you think that's the truth," Ren cooed, the hand in Poe's hair twisting once more, this time hard enough to drag tears to Poe's eyes. "Darling I told you I was here to set the galaxy back to rights, put you in your proper place once more. I'd prefer you give your love and servitude to me freely, I would like to keep you wild and impetuous as you are, but if I'm forced to choose between keeping you as you are and keeping you by my side then I will not hesitate to break you." Ren's hands turned gentle, fingers combing through his hair as he dropped his arm from Poe's waist to twist around his wrist and tug him into the hall, "now follow me sweetheart, I have a present waiting for you."

Poe had no choice but to follow, Ren's iron like grip on his wrist dragging him back towards his quarters, back to his prison, and he couldn't resist when he was shoved through the doorway, something wet on the floor inside the doorway causing his feet to slip right out from beneath him. 

"What the...." Poe's voice cut off as he brought a wet sticky hand up before his face, eyes widening in horror at the red staining his skin. His eyes shifted up to take in the room. Blood and viscera were everywhere but the coup de gras, the final piece of the twisted artwork was the bloody head perched on Poe's bed, blue eyes wide and glossy, black hair matted with blood and his mouth opened in a silent scream. 

Ren bent down to, voice low as he whispered into Poe's ear, "I don't like people touching what belongs to me."


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short bit, but this is the last chapter before things get really really dark.

Whatever "benefits" Poe had enjoyed while a "guest" of the Order had disappeared in the wake of his little stunt with FN-2166. He was now confined to his rooms, which in his mind still stank of blood even though the room had been throughly sanitized, and could only leave if accompanied by Hux, Phasma, or Kylo Ren himself. His door was guarded 24/7 by not one, but two extremely taciturn storm troopers who showed absolutely no interest in befriending him.

In short, he would learn nothing further of value from the Order, and if he wanted to escape this venture with his body and mind fully intact he would need to make his escape, and soon.

And he had a plan on that front, it just turned out that it wasn't exactly the greatest plan in the world. But really, it was the best he could do in a pinch. 

So two unconscious storm troopers and a set of stolen armor later he had managed to smuggle his way onto an unoccupied tie fighter and make his escape as they were circling some desert planet, Jakku he thought. Course it was only after he had made it into space that everything fell to shit. 

Being that tie fighters required a two man crew, he found himself absent a gunner. Which was fine really, he wasn't looking to destroy anything, just to put some distance between himself and the Finalizer and get a message out to the Resistance. 

He did get some small measure of satisfaction in how long it had actually taken for them to shoot him out of the sky, even if that was short lived. 

He woke up in the desert at dusk. So he crashed landed on Jakku, thrown from the tie from the looks of it since its wreckage was no where in sight. Which was fine, he didn't really fancy being stuck in storm troopers armor in the heat of the day and moving at night would cover his tracks. 

Although he was down to pretty much the arm guards, most everything has been cracked or ripped from his body already leaving him in the high neck shirt and a pair of black tactical pants. 

Either way he needed to move, and now. He needed to find an outpost before daybreak if he wanted to avoid heat exhaustion, and if he had any hope of escaping to the Resistance he needed to put as much distance between himself and the crash site as possible. 

\--

In the end he didn't make it very far, it took a grand total of three hours for the Order to find him. But thanks to his stolen blaster he put up a valiant fight, took out four or so storm troopers before the got a hold of him and he was forced to his knees before Kylo Ren. 

"I was enjoying your spiritedness at first Pet. A good chase is always thrilling, but this is growing tiresome," Ren commented as he stared down at Poe, head cocked to the side. 

"Might as well get used to it," Poe spat back out, "because I'm not going to stop trying to escape."

One could almost hear the exasperation in Ren's voice, "after everything I've done to keep you in your place you just don't get it do you?" A gloved hand gripped Poe's jaw, forcing his eyes up to the mask above him. "I will do anything to keep you at my feet, where you belong, even cripple you if I must." His voice shifted once more, taking on an odd sad quality that was so horribly out of place that it raised goose pimples up and down Poe's arms. "Just remember, this is your own fault."

Suddenly their was a gloved hand covering Poe's eyes, a sharp burst of light and blinding pain that ripped a scream from his throat. 

After that all there was was darkness.


	5. Chapter 4

Poe wakes up with a start, scream caught in his throat, jerking up in the cot, or at least he thinks he wakes up, it's still so dark, an unfamiliar weight around his eyes, bandages wrapped around his head he thinks. 

He reaches his hand up to begin unwinding them, to at least catch a glimpse of the room he's in but a gloved hand catches his wrist before he can touch them. 

"Careful now, you'll hurt yourself," the voice was soft and unfamiliar. Kind in a way Poe hadn't heard in such a long time. 

"Where am I, what has happened," Poe tried to reign in his panic, but he could still hear it, thick in his voice. Without the ability to see he felt weak and vulnerable in a way he couldn't remember feeling since after his Mother had passed. 

"Med Bay, you reacted," a sharp pause as though the stranger was trying to choose his words carefully, "poorly to the events on Jakku." His wrist was placed gently on the bed and he heard some shuffling around the room, a glass placed to his lips, "drink, it's just water."

And Poe did drink, not registering how thirsty he was until the first sip of water passed his lips. "Med Bay where?" Poe asked when he had finished, "and who are you?"

"The Finalizer, and I am FN-2187, I've been charged with caring for you until your wounds have healed."

"Wounds?" Poe lifted his hand up, this time actually making contact with the bandages around his eyes before his hand was tugged down again."

"Kylo Ren used the Force to do something," there was shifting again, gentle hands unwinding the bandages from around his eyes, "I'm not entirely sure what, but you reacted poorly, screaming, shouting. You tried to claw your own eyes out," funny Poe could remember none of that. "You had to be sedated to prevent you from hurting yourself further."

The bandages fell away but still every thing remained dark. "I can't see," Poe's voice was rising in pitch again, his hands beginning to shake. "Why can't I see anything."

"Hey, hey just calm down," the voice soothed, tugging at Poe's arms, trying to retrain him. "Panicking isn't going to help you heal."

"What the fuck have you done to me," Poe snarled, thrashing about trying to free himself. FN-2187 made a valiant effort to contain him, but Poe had panic and fear on his side and somehow he managed to throw the stranger off of him, tumbling out of the cot and onto the floor. 

Poe was just about to push himself to his feet when he heard the door open with a loud hiss, his head turning sharply, trying to pinpoint the direction of the noise.

"You somehow manage to be a handful even injured as you are," Kylo Ren sighed out. "It would be an endearing trait my love, if it wasn't so horribly frustrating."

Poe shoved himself back, scrambling away from the voice until his back collided with a wall. 

"Now, now pet, getting yourself all worked up isn't going to help anything. Calm down."

Poe could hear the order layered in over Ren's words, and against his will he felt some of the tension seep from his body, limbs going loose and pliant. 

"There's a good boy," Poe heard him take three long strides forward towards him and suddenly he felt a set of hands on his arms, tugging him up before sweeping his legs out from under him, one arm beneath his knees and the other around his back holding him close to Ren's chest. "You're services are no longer needed FN-2187, Commander Dameron will be transferred to my personal quarters."

"Yes Sir," the trooper responded. 

Next thing Poe knew they were moving. He wanted to thrash about, fight against the other mans hold, but the earlier command was keeping him in place, preventing him from lashing out. He was helpless now, blinded possibly for life and utterly useless to everyone. 

"Stop that love," Kylo Ren murmured, "dwelling on what you cannot change will do you little good, you brought this upon yourself." Poe heard a door slide open and then closed behind him before he was being placed gently on a soft bed, the mattress dipping down beside him as the other man sat down, soft sound of the helmet being removed, a gentle leather clad hand cupping his cheek, thumb rubbing against the peak of his cheekbone. "I did this for us darling, to keep you by my side, to stop you from chasing this suicidal mission of being the Resistances hero, can't you see that."

"I can't see anything thanks to you," Poe snapped back, command finally wearing away as he jerked back away from Ren. "Can you even begin to fathom what you've taken from me."

"I did it because I love you," the other man insisted, both hands grabbing at Poe's face and tugging him forward until he could feel warm breath against his lips. "You should see yourself, so lovely," and just like that an image appeared in his mind, himself, color high on his cheeks, curls in disarray, dressed simply in a loose black shirt and pants. It was the eyes though that were the most frightening, raised red welts where he had clawed at himself, half healed jagged lines around clouded, milky white eyes. "You see, still as lovely but ever but your grounded now, I've managed to tame you. I'm ensuring that you remain mine, by my side, that you belong only to me because I love you."

"That's not love, that's obsession," Poe hissed in return. "You don't hurt someone you love the way you have hurt me, you don't cripple them just to keep them where you want them. You can't own them."

Poe's breath was coming out in sharp gasps, adrenaline, rage, fear and panic combining to overwhelm him. It was unsettling, having a sense of what was going on around him but no real vision of what his world looked like anymore beyond his own memories, being forced to rely on sound and tone to judge his captors mood. What's worse, he had no idea if this was permanent. 

"It is sweetheart," Kylo Ren responded, having worked his way into Poe's thoughts. 

That ended up being the last straw for Poe. All the strain of his captivity, the fear, the anxiety, all of it came crashing down at once and his body responded in the only way it could, in a way it hadn't since he was a child. A sob worked its way up his throat and he could feel hot tears spill from his eyes. 

"Darling, shhh," Kylo Ren soothed, pulling Poe into his arms, tucking his head beneath his chin and allowing the pilot to sob into his neck. "Shhhh, it will all be ok, I'll care for you, I'll protect you. Don't you worry now love, your safe."

That was the beginning of the end for Poe, a crack in his armor that would be exploited to the fullest by his captors.


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this is Soo long coming!!!!! Enjoy. Comments always appreciated.

Time became an intangible thing for Poe, the only measure of the passing days he had were meals and Ren's sporadic and often infrequent return to their shared quarters, as though he were trying to give Poe space, time to heal after what had happened. As though he could actually heal after this. 

No, the only real way he could tell how much time has passed - a few weeks at least - was the way his body was slowly and steadily fading. He'd refused to eat and on more than one occasion he had been dragged to the Med Bay and had a feeding tube shoved down his throat. His arms felt thin, weak, his cheeks hallow and sharp when he brushed his hands across them, hip bones jutting out. He was wasting away slowly but surely and if there was any mercy left in the Force it would let him fade instead of forcing him to continue this pitiful existence. 

Of course the Force seemed to have other plans for him, even as useless as he now was it seemed to think he still had some purpose to fulfill. 

He heard the door shift open, but didn't even bother moving from where he was curled on the bed, assuming it was just Ren coming to check on his pet. 

"Commander Dameron," oh, that was a new voice, it had been weeks since he had last had contact with Hux, before he had been blinded. "You're presence has been requested by the Supreme Leader, I've been sent to collect you. 

Poe sat up gingerly, head turning to where he assumed Hux was standing. "Kylo Ren won't like that, he's ordered that I remain in these rooms until I've healed." His voice was scratchy and rough from disuse. 

"Ren has little say in the matter, troopers, if you would." Poe heard to sets of boots stepping forward before he felt himself being tugged to his feet and pulled over to Hux. "You're dismissed, I will lead Commander Dameron from here."

"Sir," one of the troopers questioned. 

"Your services are quite unneeded FN-1000," Hux cut in as he gently took Poe's left arm and placed it in the crook of his elbow, a surprisingly tender gesture for the man. "Commander Dameron is quiet incapable of causing me any harm in his current state."

Poe snorted out a laugh, but held his tongue. Even weak as he was he would put up a decent fight against a non force user like Hux, he still had his other senses and all it would take is getting his hand on a blaster and he could cause some damage to any normal sentient being. No, it was only Force Users like Ren who left him weak and helpless, men who could foresee his every move, who could break into his head and rip out whatever they wanted, who could take away what little he had left, it was those that he truly needed to fear. 

So he let Hux lead him wherever it was they were going, enjoying the silence for a few moments before the ginger felt the need to break it. "I must admit, though I do relish the thought of removing such an asset from the Resistance permanently, seeing you in such a docile state is unnerving to say the least."

"Would you prefer I attempt to steal another tie fighter, or start sneaking around in search of ways to get word to the Resistance." Which was useless really, in his current state he would likely do more damage to himself in such an attempt. 

Which Hux of course also realized. "Your likely harm yourself in such an attempt. No, I was referring to that wonderful wry sense of humor you maintained when you first arrived here."

"I was under the impression you didn't actually enjoy our verbal sparing matches."

When Hux spoke again Poe could almost hear the amusement in his voice. "On the contrary, it was a refreshing change of pace. One can only antagonize Kylo Ren so often before growing bored with his rather predictable responses. You however presented something new and unique, it would be a pity to learn that you had been broken of this by recent events."

Poe tugged Hux to a sharp stop. "You must be joking."

Poe heard Hux let out a sharp huff of impatience before pulling Poe forward into motion again. "No time to dally, the Supreme Leader despises waiting. And no, I'm not entirely joking. As I said earlier, breaking you can only result in a favorable outcome for the Order, but that doesn't mean I do not mourn the loss of the entertainment you provided."

Hux tone clearly signaled that this conversation was at an end and so the continued the rest of their journey in silence, the only sign that they had reached their destination being the soft hiss of a set of doors as they stepped into a frigid room. 

"What is the meaning of this," he heard Kylo Ren's voice as he was pulled forward, halted at the edge of some sort of walkway as Hux stepped away. "I gave a direct order that he was not to be removed...."

"He was brought here on my orders," boomed a sharp voice that had Poe's head swiveling as he tried to place its location. It sounded as though the voice was coming from every direction, echoing throughout the room. "I desired to meet with your pet, to see if he is truly what has been driving you to distraction as of late."

"Master I can assure you, the pilot is of no consequence and his presence is not what has been weighing on me so heavily."

"I will be the judge of that," the voice snapped again. "Step forward Boy, I would have a look at you."

Poe was itching to resist, some of his own fire and stubbornness reawakening in light of his conversation with Hux, but something in the new voices tone gave him pause, made it clear such resistance would not be wise, so he took one tentative step forward. 

"Yes, very pretty, I can see that, a pretty little caged bird who's wings you have clipped. You've coveted this one for a very long time, I can sense it."

"He knew Ben Solo as a child," Ren answered. "They were...close."

"Yes I can see that," a shiver went up Poe's spine and suddenly it was as though someone else was in his brain, digging around, taking their claws against his psyche, sifting through his memories, the pain of it all forcing him to his knees, pulling a high whimper from his throat. "Yes this one is special, so much fire that has already begun to burn low, a passion for life, a fight slowly being extinguished and yet there is still something within him, something promising." And just like that the pressure was gone, leaving Poe panting on the floor, trying to regain his bearings. "You may keep him for now, but fail to reign him in or should he distract you from your training and I will ensure he is left as nothing more than a mindless doll, understood."

"Of course Supreme Leader," he heard Ren bite out. 

"Excellent, you are dismissed."

That was the only warning Poe was given before a claw like grip on his arm was jerking him to his feet and dragging him from the room. 

Ren didn't speak he's he tugged Poe down the twisting halls and back to his quarters, his brisk pace forcing Poe to stumble behind him to keep up. 

The doors to what he could only assume we're Ren's quarters opened and then closed quietly behind me before Ren was moving, shoving Poe into the wall hand on his throat, sharply cutting off Poe's air supply. 

"You stupid little whore," he snarled out. "You couldn't keep your head down, couldn't hide what you are, how special you were. Now he knows." The voice turned softer, the rapid change in emotions throwing Poe off, "I'm sorry darling, but this is your own fault."

Even without his sight Poe saw the slap that drove him to his knees coming a mile away.


End file.
